Below are a few of the emotional issues that I dealt with while I was losing my weight:
- Analysis of everything you do. No matter where I was or what I was doing, people wanted to know exactly “why” I was doing it. If they saw me at the grocery store, they would examine the cart’s contents and ask why I selected each item. If I was walking, a neighbor would often stop me to ask how far and how fast she had to walk to lose as much weight as me. While dining at a restaurant with relatives, I’d be asked about why I was eating “that,” since it wasn’t what they considered a low calorie item. I can’t even tell you how many comments I get when at a potluck, wedding, birthday party, baby or wedding shower, even funerals about what I eat. Does this bother me? Every single time.
- Having to accept snide comments. Boy, did I ever get these often. The list is endless but a couple that come to mind are: “Wow, look how much smaller you are! The last time I saw you, you were this wide!” (As they hold their arms out as extended as they can and demonstrate the width of my backside.) Umm… thanks, I guess. Another one: “You always had such a pretty face. I always told myself that if Jodi lost a ton of weight she would be attractive.” Oh, OK, so I have always been unattractive? Thanks for the boost. Learning to simply smile and not comment on their remarks is the best solution here.
- Seeking the approval of others. I’ve finally learned that I don’t need the approval of anyone; it took me a long time to get that. You are becoming healthier, losing your weight FOR YOU and nobody needs to approve your decision. Unfortunately, you’ll encounter some jealousy, hear unpleasant comments and find out who your true friends are (and aren’t). Remember to stay proud of all that you’ve accomplished and avoid any negativity that comes from mouths of others. In their heart, they just wish to be as awesome as you — some just have trouble actually saying it.
- Arrogance. Everyone was so happy when they noticed that I was losing weight. Friends told me how much I deserved it since I had struggled all my life, and they constantly reminded me that they were very proud of me. It was absolutely wonderful to hear all these lovely comments, but after listening to them so often, I became used to them. Soon people didn’t want to hear about any of my other accomplishments which I often wanted to share. If I shared them with pride, I’d receive comments like “Yes, you have it all.” That’s not so enjoyable to hear.
- Attraction attention that you aren’t used to. Yes, it does happen: You will get plenty of looks, including a few raised eyebrows and smiling faces, from people who notice your new body. I enjoyed the fact that negative words didn’t go along with the looks I received like they did for 25 years. My self-esteem surely went up and I liked the extra attention. I won’t say that everyone in my family enjoyed it as much as I did; yes, many “ups and downs” here too. You will survive it, though; I have.
- Artificial concern. This came from the people I least expected. “Oh Jodi, you’re losing weight much too quickly. Are you sure you’re not sick?” Or, “Your eyes look dark, are you certain you’re eating right?” And the one that gets me the most: “Don’t you think you should stop now? You’re looking much thinner than I am used to you looking, it’s not good.” That comment was said before I lost even 100 pounds and was still considered extremely obese. Jealousy does set in quite often. Just remember not to become too upset with these individuals… you were probably there once yourself, right? (Be honest.) Thank them for being concerned and reassure them that you are just fine!
If you’ve lost a lot of weight, how was it for you? Did you experience these issues as well?
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